Dear Appendix, it’s just not working out…….

So last week my appendix decided to betray me, I don’t know exactly where we went wrong, one minute we were frolicking in the park together hand in hand and the next my dear Appy had developed a drinking problem and a wandering eye…..  Sigh, but such is life.

appen

I’m really mostly just mad about missing a couple of weeks of work, I had stuff to do darn it!  Also I look 4 months pregnant but on just the right half of my stomach because of all of the swelling and the doctor said I’m not suppose to have any dirty sex for like two weeks also.

So in hindsight I suppose my relationship with Appy was not really any different than either of my marriages, or the vast majority of my serious “relationships.”  By which I mean, at the end of the day I realized I had been spending all these years housing and feeding this lump of flesh until it woke up and decided to just be a complete pain in the ass, resulting in a couple weeks of nausea and not getting laid.  I’m sure by next week I’m going to find out that he left me for my disgusting calcified gallbladder even though we all know that b^tch doesn’t have anything going for her either…

gallbladder

In other compleeeetly unrelated news, I started a relationship with this guy a couple of months ago, well actually specifically what I said was “this is weird” and “I don’t really date, like I seriously haven’t been on a real date in years….”  But we’ve been doing this thing where we eat food and go on walks together and don’t have sex with other people (allegedly), for awhile now.  Then these stupid words like “dating” and “girlfriend” have been getting thrown around or whatever. Which is cool and all, we actually have a pretty great relationship, which actually really upsets me because I hate dating a lot, annnnd I really don’t like having a relationship that ISN’T complete shit because I might have to experience some kind of human type emotion or something about it at some point or something.  Sigh….

rel

Yup, I am not ashamed to admit that I’m much more comfortable having complete control over every aspect of my personal life and free time while pursuing my long-term commitment to my cat and PlayStation because it’s less stressful than meaningful human interaction.

cat

Oh, and also, I like the FREEEEEEDOM most of the time, soooo we’ll see how this “doing things I normally don’t like” phase works out for me.

ron