Don’t live your life on pineapple…

So I finally beat The Last of Us, and yes I am aware it came out a year ago, no I didn’t just start playing it either.  You see this has been my life’s greatest challenge for the past year and a half since I got this little gem after excitedly waiting for it to come out ever since I read in article about it in like, I dunno, 2012 or something.


But then, after so much anticipation, this game betrayed me.  See what happened was I popped the disc into my PlayStation hot off the shelves back in 2013 and as I was going through the settings I thought to myself “what the heck, let’s play this baby on hard because I’m a badass!”  and for the record, I am in fact a badass because I made it to about 79% of the way through the game with the difficulty cranked up to “why did I pay that hooker to do the thing with the pineapple again?!?!” hard.


But then I forgot that I had it set to hard, and one fateful day, I got stuck.  There were zombies coming in through the walls, through the ceiling, through my everloving pores.  Try as I might, no matter how many throwey explodey things I made, no matter how much ammo I did, I kept getting my face eaten off in the SAME. SPOT. OVER. AND. OVER.  Until I finally just rage quit and passed out in a pile of beer bottles and failure, bitterly returning the game to the shelf where it sat for many a long day.


That is until the day before yesterday when it worked its way back into my life as I was discussing my failures with a friend of mine who claimed to be a hardened Last of Us veteran.  He swore up and down that he could beat the level in 10 minutes if I wanted to finally have the pleasure of experiencing what the ending of this game was for myself.  Thus we embarked on this endeavor.


Well as it turns out “lubeless pineapple hard” was also way too difficult for my friend who left defeated after several hours of complaining that I must have somehow broken the game by “not picking up enough supplies or something.”


So yesterday, I decided that it was time to do something about this.  Mini-me was passed out on my lap trapping me on the couch, so I cautiously picked up my controller again determined to finally beat this level.

Then after dying like 80 schmillion times the game took pity on me and during one of the load screens after a particularly nasty zombie four way death, the message scrawls across my field of view “remember you can adjust the difficulty at any time during gameplay through the options menu.”


That’s when it struck me, “oh yeah, I have this on ‘f@#$ a pineapple hard,’ let me try ‘easy’ instead.”

And that ladies and gentlemen is how I finally completed my life’s work.

The moral of this story is that when things seem too rough, and you think you can’t go on, check yourself, make sure you aren’t trying to play on pineapple.