Roommates… FML… Is murder still illegal?


So, one of my friends was supposed to deploy recently but ended up needing a waiver which of course was not obtained in a timely manner.  But of course it wasn’t until after he had already gotten rid of his house, packed all of his worldly belongings into storage, and was standing in line for the rotator that they bothered to inform him that he wasn’t going.  Naturally, this meant that the guy was now homeless, and largely friendless since most of his friends (other than me) were on the deployment with him….  So knowing that I’m occasionally a nice person who also happens to have a badass 3000 sq foot house that I share only with my daughter and her cat, guess who he calls in the middle of the night looking for a couch to crash on??  Yep, well as much as I value my solitude I’m not one to leave a soldier hanging so I think to myself, “what the heck?  It’ll only be a couple of days..”

Ugh, yeah, so here we are almost a week later and I have come to the conclusion that:

1.  I am quite thoroughly attached to my bachelorhood/hermit-ism…

2.  Having to wear clothes on the weekends blows…

3.  It really annoys me when people clean out my fridge no matter how nice the thought was behind it…

Yep, so the first problem I’ve encountered with this situation is that I can no longer just sit around in my underwear playing Skyrim on Saturday mornings which I did not previously realize is truly vital to my lifeblood and overall mental well being….  Also, I hate pants…

Plus the guy has no other friends in America right now which is really killing my groove because he’s always wanting to hang out and do stuff and be clingy and s#it, and lets face it, nobody likes being someone’s ONLY friend…

Then I got up this morning to find that the guy had been thoughtful enough to clean my kitchen as well as clean out my fridge, but for some inexplicable reason he seemed to think that if something was some sort of dairy product that it must be expired…  Now I’m not going to lie there was a jug of old milk in there as well as one tub of yogurt that was probably pretty questionable..  BUT the dude literally threw out half my groceries that I just bought on payday, including an ENTIRE tub of margarine that I had just opened 2 days ago.  Now fortunately for him about as emotionally available as a boulder, so rather than unleashing the unfathomable rage that was boiling up inside of me when I realized that I was going to be eating dry toast with black coffee for breakfast, I calmly informed him that while I appreciated his efforts he had in fact thrown out most of the groceries that I was planning on lasting me until next payday, he apologized, and I left feeling unsatisfied… 

Perhaps I’ll take my .30-06 out to the range this weekend, shooting things also helps preserve my sanity, though things will be much better once the zombie apocalypse comes and I can just shoot peop… er… zombies at will….



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